The Reality of Long Distance


Hannah Barham

Long distance relationships are something that some of us can’t handle. Miles and miles apart and the only communication is messaging and FaceTiming. Some people don’t want to struggle with not being able to see each other. We see TikTok videos that say, “Meeting my long distance boyfriend of two years!” or “Long distance dates with video call.” and we sigh and imagine how romantic a long distance relationship can be. However, we are caught up in our fantasies to where we don’t actually see the reality. We only see what social media is showing us, which is only the good bit. We don’t see the hardships of the long distance relationship, which is missing each other immensely, the lack of physical reassurance, and a constant strain on the relationship due to loyalty issues. 

We find the separation aspect romantic. For example, we see the distance as a “you feel so close but you’re so far”, and we find the anticipation of eventually meeting them extremely exciting. Being able to see the person you’ve talked to on a screen for so long in person, to be able to hug them and hold them. That’s probably the most exciting part about the relationship, being able to look forward to seeing your long distance partner and holding them. 

Long distance can apply to any mileage or distance. For example, someone could be three hours away, or in another country. Either way, it’s a long stretch. However, long distance relationships can be good. Long distance provides a way to strengthen a bond that goes beyond a physical relationship. Some people may see relationships as just a physical thing. As in, “you can’t have a working real relationship without physical contact!” Well, that’s a lie. The physicality of relationships is the least important thing. The important thing about relationships is that they need to be built upon trust, loyalty, and most important of all: love. Love is by far the glue that holds it together. If you really love someone, and they love you too, they will work hard to keep the relationship working and make it work out until the time where you are both able to meet up finally and see each other in person. And if that goes well, it’s possible that this could be “the one”.

While there are pros, there are also cons. For example, the pressure. The pressure to talk to each other every day, the pressure to avoid disagreements, feelings of loneliness, etc. And it’s definitely understandable. If your partner is physically there, then you have reassurance/the capability to build trust. However, with your partner gone, you worry. For example, you may worry that your partner will grow bored or annoyed with you, which may lead to strain. And strain leads to tension, which leads to more arguments, which leads to the single life again. We all know how that is. 

That’s why in long distance relationships, it’s important to build trust and loyalty to each other, no matter how much distance is between the two of you. Set up dates. Use Zoom to stream a movie or just video chat. Send each other gifts, letters, etc. Because at the end of the day, long distance goes both ways.